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WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT MAN'S HEAD

In a collection of essays drawn from daily life, Dr. Alan Heath fills his first book with a hilarious account of life seen through the eyes of a dentist who never grew up.

What’s Wrong with that Man’s Head takes us inside the mind of Dr. Heath as he shares the stories of his First Communion, taken at the insistence of his Mother-in-law (Body of Christ), and of an ill-advised ride in a rodeo (Mid-life Rodeo). He struggles with the challenges of parenting as he tells of losing a fifty-dollar bet to his five-year-old son (Name that Tune), and debates the legend of Santa Claus (Yes, Virginia). He’ll walk you through the process of his first colonoscopy (An In and Out Procedure), and you’ll smile through your tears as he tells the bittersweet tale of his Mother-in-law’s final moments in Last Words.

His stories lead us on a fifty-year journey, and at the end, you may still wonder, “What’s wrong with that man’s head?”

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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I was born the older of a set of twins on March 23, 1954. It turns out to matter that you are the older twin only if you happen to be royalty. Then you get to be King, while your brother, born just a few minutes later, is the Duke of Cornwall. Not being royalty, I was simply one of six children on a small dairy farm in the northwest corner of Illinois. We farmed two hundred and fifty acres, milked thirty head of Holstein cows, and went to church on Sunday in the little Methodist church in the valley below our farm.

I left the farm to attend Knox College in Galesburg, Illinois, where I received my Bachelor of Science degree, Magna Cum Laude, Phi Beta Kappa. (I mention those last two, because, outside of the ceremony where those honors are bestowed, there are remarkably few opportunities to bring them up in conversation, and this seemed like a good chance.) I met my wife Cindy on the first day of orientation at Knox, and we were married shortly after graduation. I went on to receive a DDS degree from the University of Illinois, Omicron Kappa Upsilon. (Again, this seemed a good opportunity to bring it up.) I then did a Residency at Michael Reese Hospital.
We moved to Frankfort in 1981 and opened a small dental office. We raised two wonderful children, Corielle and Tony, who are now grown, happily married, and settled into lives of their own. After forty years, I am now retired. Cindy and I continue to live in Frankfort with our dog Coco. In my retirement we have plans to travel. I also hope to shout at children telling them to stay off my lawn, and I may learn to play the accordion.

About twelve years ago, a neighborhood magazine was soliciting content from residents, and I wrote the story “A Methodist goes to Shabbat” describing a recent visit with my daughter at her college. I wrote another story each month for the next several years. As I approached my retirement, I decided to dust those stories off, put them into a collection, and publish them for the entertainment of my children, my eventual grandchildren, and my old patients. I hope you enjoy them as well.

"Every Halloween I dressed up in costume. I strong-armed the office staff into dressing up as well. Some patient's scheduled their appointments just to be there for the fun, and some came in costume themselves. I love Halloween!"

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OTHER PUBLISHED BOOKS

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An early history of the foundation and growth of the Willow United Methodist church. Beginning just after the conclusion of the Black Hawk Indian War and continuing to the present day, this book follows the settlement of Willow in 1833 and the building of the church that served its people. With thumbnail histories of the founding families and those who came after, it seeks to preserve the story of a frontier church.